Image by Piper Macenzie via A Canvas of the Minds
“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.” -Tallulah "Lulu" Sparks
When I was around middle school, I never paid attention to my older sister Michelle. I tuned out to her whenever she talks and look elsewhere to focus on as my sister rambles. One day while we were both home alone, I saw my sister Michelle holding a kitchen knife near the sink . I thought she was going to cut some vegetables or fruit until I noticed she was positioning the knife towards her forearm. I have to stop her from cutting herself.
We both got into a huge argument. I yelled at her to put the knife down. She yelled back at me to let her be. Eventually, Michelle ended up putting the knife down and calmed down. We both never told our parents what happened when they came back home. Even though it ended, I was confused about my sister's behavior. Why would Michelle want to hurt herself? What would made her get to that point?
As I grew older, I found out that Michelle was bullied at her school by a couple of classmates. I thought she would have gone to our parents for help. Apparently, they weren't supportive of her and always complain about her moodiness. Plus, I never lent an ear to listen when she needed it. All of that built up to her depression and led her to thoughts of self-harm and suicide, which she was about to do that day. I regret not being able to do more for my older sister when we were younger. I wish I was not caught up in my own little world as she was suffering from the sadness and loneliness she felt.
Later in college, I found out that my friend Sam was suffering from depression. All this time that I hung out with him, he was masking his depression and anger with silly antics. It hurts to know that that he did all of those things to bottle up all the negativity inside him. I told him to trust me and vent out to me when he needs to. Even though he was reluctant to share everything, I helped provide him with whatever he needed while he heals. Even til this day, I still worry about him. I don't know how he's progressing since he would rather hide his feelings, but I will be around when he needs help.
In my senior year of college, things took a sour turn for me: rejection, friend-losing, backstabbing, crazymaking, degradation, and humiliation. My anxiety worsened and I began to fell into depression from all of these elements. I isolated myself from the majority of people because I didn't know who to trust. I limited myself from all of the things I used to love. I couldn't sleep at night and stayed in bed through the day hoping never to get out.
I didn't remember what motivated me to get out of bed and seek help, but I did. I confide in the very people I worried about, both Michelle and Sam. I go to the counseling center in my university. I made Novaturient Me to express myself and heal. All of these things may not get me better in one day, but they're all steps towards helping me become ever-changing novaturient me.
All of these stories all sum up to one important lesson for me: mental health is a very important part of our lives. It may be invisible and not as notable our physical well-being, but the effects it has on all of us great. Mental disturbances and disorders can affect anyone, even those you love and you yourself. But does it mean we should sweep these problems under the rug and hope things get better that way? No.
Promoting mental health and bringing awareness about its importance can help us fight the stigma present in our society. We can do little to huge ways to promote mental health. Support a friend or family who may be suffering. Talk about it. Volunteer. Be a part of organization. Anything to help those with mental health problems to get them back to their feet in a positive way.
As I continue to be exposed to the theme of mental health in my life, the more I become passionate about it. (Whether it's from personal experience or from education.) I've done multiple papers about mental health for my social work classes, specifically about issues and stigma. I read and watched stories about people and mental health. I've been researching mental health organizations I can be a part of. I'm about to take on an internship in my local behavior health center next January. My involvement in the mental health field is all thanks to these two important people.
Thank you, Michelle and Sam. To know that you two are still living and persevering to make better lives for yourselves is amazing. Thank you everybody for reading my story, and I hope you gain awareness about the importance of mental health.
